news...but bad news

Somebody is stepping my luck!!!
It's sucks!
It's sh!t !!!

Received lots of bad news...and bad things keep on happening on me...
I tried hard to be optimistic but each day i wake up,the condition is getting worst!
It's been 3 months i didn't have period!
Pregnancy thingy is not the thing that i need to worry about coz i'm not involve in any sex relationship BUT my skin is getting worst due to this problem...Dr's medic cannot work,productssss cannot work,hormone cannot work..
Oh Gosh!I'm so so abnormal...

Why har??suddenly seems like things change to become worst le?
Somemore,i cannot rent the room that i wish dy coz it's being rent out to other people dy...
So,means that after 10June,i got no place to stay...
Staying with my cousin at Cheras now is already a BIG problem for me to go to uni everyday and i felt guilty to disturb him for that long too...
i need a place to settle down..tired of shifting here and there...

and besides,i really miss those good old days where i used to have when i was in UTAR with that bunch of piggie doggie friends...
miss those moments that i used to have...
don't think that i will have that kind of life in Help...

Woke up this morning,with lots of problems need to be solve and other stupid stuff spinning in my head,suddenly...feel like giving up in life!
I don't wish to continue my life like this...like now...it's completely unacceptable...and it's really SUCKS!
feel like commit suicide...just cross the road and let the car bang on me then done!
i'm done and gone!

I'm not happy...
I never happy ever since i came back to here...
Don't know how to make myself happy...
My cheer leader is not here...
Everyone is busy with their life,so as a half adult,i know that i should handle all this stuff my own and overcome it...
perhaps,give me sometime...
As Jen said: This is just a beginning...Everything happen for a reason and i happen to be in this world with this sucks situation now is also must be some reason behind...
So,i still need to keep it up and learn to be tough...take it as a trainning programme lor...
Someday,Sometime,Somewhere...i will know..
and it should be a very good reason to explain my WH questions...
better be something that worth my waiting!


No news is good news = )

seeking H A P P I N E S S

Another day had gone and passed away...
I feel not right...
I feel down...
I feel abnormal....
I feel strange...

I don't know why do I feel that way....
I am depressed!
I lost my way and lost of directions...lost of confidence to go on...
Suddenly,i feel a failure of life...

It's my first day attend classes at HUC...
It's a completely new environment,new faces to me....
Half way to my dreams getting closer and nearer but to be honest,i didn't feel happy...
I don't feel that i like this place...but there's no turning back for me....
I need to go on,and i know that,realistically!
Didn't eat anythg since i wake up till end of class at 2pm....
and while i was waiting for bus to go back,it started to rain,HEAVILY....DAMN!
Since i didn't have umbrella,i cannot walk back to the place i stay ritenow as i used to walk abt 10 mins from lrt to my 'home'...
So,I need to get a place to go...

So,I go to KLCC alone...
Walking alone in the crowds,with no destination,I feel EMPTY.LONELY.WEIRD.
I don't know what to do or what should i do...
Perhaps,i can call someone for date...blind date or whatsoever... but it's really pointless to date with someone that is not my favour...It won't help any to make me feel any better or happier...
I don't want to waste ur time...I don't want to give any false hope to anyone of you and then end up hurting you and myself....
I am tired of the so called 'love game' or 'trap' of desperado...
I am depressed,lonely and need love BUT I AM NOT DESPERATE!
Sick with desperado and guys with 'come and go' hurting me...
Perhaps,i am really a bloody idiot to make believe that true love does exist and they are sincere.
It's all just an illusion...and when the picture gets clearer,it's time to AWAKE!
Naive in love is my weakness and it's time to WAKE UP and be REALISTIC!
I don't even want to spend any wasted second with people that are not my favor.
So,if i ignored u,u better b smart a bit...STAY AWAY FROM ME!

My family went to travel overseas dy and i am really alone here.
I need their support...I need to talk and share with them everything here with me...
I need them to shower me with love and tell me that everything gonna be alright and i can do it fine...
I miss them badly...
No matter what happen,their love that shower me is EVERLASTING and will not change...and i realise it,each day i grown older...
Dad and Mum and my adorable siblings,they mean the world to me...

Gladful to say,i owned some good friends...
My friends might not be many,but they are all really good friends...
Luckily i met them and are friends with them...
Everything that they did for me really touch my heart and thousand words of 'thank you' is not going to be enough to dedicate to them for their helping hand whenever i was in need.

Every Failure brings a step closer to Success~
Fitness First coach said: When I am sad,I work harder!
So,Xinyi...work harder!!
I shall see the light of happiness is waving hand welcoming me in this near future = )

recent updates

又过了一个周末了。。。唉~我还在懊脑着该去哪，怎样才会做到最好。。。很烦哩！

但想想，比起那些可怜的四川灾民还在为了生存而挣扎，自觉自己幸运也幸福许多。。。
我确实应该感到庆幸。。。那一些小小考验算什么？！没什么，熬一熬，咬紧牙关，跟自己说，都会过去的！

我家这一区的电话线被贼偷了。。。不能上网。。。害我瞎无聊的。。。
原想翻阅九把刀的《月老》的，却被妈给叫去干活了。。。
妈叫我去煮绿豆糖水要拿去慈济仪卖，积点功德。。。
换作是以前的我，或许我还想懒散，堵多推塘。。。但今天我没有。。。
近来，想了很多。。。很多人都跟我说我妈很疼我，甚至友人羡慕我妈可以对我做到有求必应。。。
哈~没有那么夸张啦！“有求必应”？？？那不就比拜神还灵？？
但是，说实在的，妈真的很疼我。。。我是知道的。。。
她为我付出了那么多，我不该再对她小小要求而埋怨。。。况且，她只不过是真心地为我好。。。
所以呢，可以做到的，我都会尽责。。。
假期以来，每天都会陪妈去做晨跑。。。今天周末，那就帮她洗地板吧！
洗了（42 x 90）方尺的地板，一个字，爽！洗地板期间，亦忆起了童年时和心怡一起洗澡时用肥皂泡来滑她家洗澡间的地板。。。回想起来，小时候的我们真的很好笑。。。哈~ （Y雨，你该不会怪我写在这里吧？！）
体会到妈妈的伟大。怀胎九个月不好过，扶养孩子成人更不容易。。。
所以,虽然母亲节过了，还是很想说：

妈，母亲节快乐！
愿天下所有的母亲都可以健康快乐！

结束了。

坐在这角落，心里很多话想说。。。
爱不在，应该让自己从回忆中离开。。。
爱不在，我们都已不存在在彼此的未来。。。
有时候，不管对爱还有多少的依赖，就算再不愿意再伤心，我明白我们只能分手。。。
不舍得放手，是我的错。。。
选择掉进这无底洞的人是我自己，是我的错。。。
任由自己的眼睛见证那残酷的事实，是我的错。。。
相信你，也是我的错了吗？？？
我的天真，是我的错。。。

和你分手后，我的心就好像放了一颗炸弹，炸了一个大洞。。。
然后你又出现，害我的伤口又再次斯裂了，让我痛得无法意识这只是一段感觉，已经不是爱了。。。
所以，从现在开始，我们感情归零。。。
我真的再也没有多余的心力去爱或恨你了。。。

此刻，聆听着罗忆诗的《别再哭了》。。。

结束了，就不该再拉扯。。。
结束了，我该往前走，去拥抱那属于我的天空。。。
有一天，我将拥有一双燃烧着火焰的美丽翅膀，在天空傲翔。。。

0707196 献 眼镜军团

眼镜军团六人行

那晚，我们都和烟火一样，笑得很灿烂。。。
我们的笑容可以拯救彼此的失落。。。
旦愿那一刻可以永恒。。。

此刻，我在聆听着《仨人》。。。
我们相识的时间并不长，但喜怒哀乐尽尝。。。
因为有你，染上新的幽默。。。
也因为有你，世界变得轻松。。。
我们属于非常难得。。。

朋友，谢谢你们这些日子以来带给我最真挚的感动。。。
我们共同拥有过的回忆会陪伴着我一生。。。


离别前的最后一张合照。。。

回到家，一个人，打着短讯给在回KL路途中的朋友。。。

打着打着，泪就流了。。。

了解人有悲欢离合，但我还是会不舍。。。真的很不舍。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

晓吉力说她坚信这不是最后，所以泪不可以流。。。

Evelyn说：我们不是解散，只是暂时分散。。。

有一天，我们一定会再相聚。。。

细细回味一起度过的那些日子，我们都笑了。。。

这一次，一定会比烟火来得更灿烂。。。

别了，0707196。。。

悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来;

我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。（徐志摩）

但我不是徐志摩。。。