the emo queen's crap

I wonder...what spell i am under...
I'm in a state of depression...i think...
Eyes are red,tears are shed..
Felt so hopeless that i can't fix anything...
I don't know what else that i can do to make things get better...
I don't know...
I don't know if i can still believe and keep my faith on my journey...
i don't know...
Happiness...Laughter...smiley...it's all seems far far away..that i can't reach...
Family..friendship..love.... it seems that i cannot afford to gain anything of it...
i hate myself...
[tonight i wanna cry]

well,i know i'm crapping...do ignore my crap...

i'm just another emo out here...

牙关

那年少轻狂的岁月，我没有忘记它是有多么的美丽。。

那喧闹的笑声很真实的一直在回响。。。

一起翻越城墙的梦，依然会是我们共同持有的梦想吗？

成长真的是过滤梦想的旅程吗？可我最不想过滤掉的是和你一起的旅程。。。

如果因为爱而让我迷失了自己；失去了情谊。。。

那我希望因为情而让我们可以一起继续这旅程。。。

收集了许多许多我们灿烂的笑脸，把回忆图一块一块的拼着。。也希望可以一直拼着。。

听说死神也怕咬紧牙关。。。

你怕不怕？我不怕。。

因为你给的勇气战胜了我内心的恐惧。。

五月天的牙关让我继续。。。

死神也怕咬紧牙关的故事：

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4a9edaf4010008vn.html

moving on with the days

Exam is approaching,yet there're tonnes of workloads awaiting me to complete...
i got no time to shed a tear right this moment anymore...
i have to move on!

Had a discussion with a group member at The Border's Starbucks at The Garden justnow...It takes time to modify others works so,we decide to re-do everything...It will be much easier for us...This might be kind of bit autocratic and sound irrespect to others but we are lack o f time to ask them to re-do and guide them how to do...it's so much tiring...


Since, we are at Starbucks,i get myself a new drink intro for X'mas season...

Instead of my all-time-fav-Java Chips, i get myself Toffee Nut Frapuccino...i love it! = ) and guess you should have love it too!get yourself one ba if you go Starbucks ;p

Besides, i get myself a mini book at Borders...
It brings lights to my dull hectic day!

The formula of happinessS

Before that,i had an early lunch with Jiayi at Zenmai...
It's our favourite sushi restaurant to visit!
Ordered lots of food...
Jiayi still feel like demanding for a dessert although she already full... lol ;p

The sushi freak

and before going for the discussion,we went to FOS...
i got a half price shorts...spot it last time dy..luckily didn't buy,or else i gonna 'gek sei'! ahha =p


My group member is kind of rajin type people...compare with him,i am nothing lor...he seems super duper stress and worried for the coming finals...So,after the discussion, he went back already... Since i'm in the mall,i decided to shop around..i timed myself 1 hour to shop...


Saw some glamorous accessories at Vincci accesorries shop...So,i bought this... long time never add any new accessories for myself dy...finally can stock some for the coming CNY~

my earrings and anklet!look galmour not?? ^.=

My next pit alone is Zara...
feel like getting myself another tight jeans of Zara ler...
But just get myself a Forever 21 black fit pants on my birthday...
well....considering...

Compare my current pic and my previous pic...that time i am still having long curly hair...i want to get that length back!!

camwhore-ing for the-day...

I stopped by at Jaya One for dinner before i go back to MC..
while waiting jiayi to finish work,i plan to have a short revision at Oldtown...
But,i saw some crowds at the centre court of Jaya One-Palm Square...
There's a performance from the former Malaysian Idol finalist- Saiful... ( don't even know this name before that...paiseh )
anyway,instead of go to Oldtown,i sat there and watched the performance...
well,there' still lots of space for improvement for the english song that he presents - No Promises...but for malay songs...it's quite nice...most of the malay songs' melody are taken from the chinese songs...

Songs that he performs are- Rindu,Ku masih cintaimu,Aku ada disini....

and there goes my day...

time to fight for exam,again! ^^

misery

[tears from the wounded heart]

Misery...
my heart is bleeding blood...

it's shaking from the pain that is in my head...

i lose myself in all these fights...

Tears

been crying in extreme for more than 2 hours...

make up that i wear blurred my vision...
i just can't help dropping tears again and again...

eyes flooded with tears...

but i left it dried by fans on the ceiling...

Stress...
sleepless nights i had these days...

caffeine can't help but worsen the nights with fears and trembles...
not really cope well with studies...
not really having a good life as what it seens by others...

Sorrow...
i'm in the middle of nowhere...
understanding and care is needed...

but who's care?
no one...

unfold the reality...
and this is where i am standing...

* my eyes is super puffy now

你不是真正的快乐

你是人群中透明的颜色。。。
世界笑了，于是你合群的一起笑了。。。
站在世界中心；可却觉得好像和这世界隔着了银河。。。
生存变成只是规则；而不是你的选择。。。

你不是真正的快乐。 。 。
你的笑只是一种习俗礼貌。。。
脱下所穿的保护色，你会不会就不再是透明的颜色呢？

你值得真正的快乐。。。
就让悲伤全部结束在此刻。
重新开始活着。。。

唱一首笑忘歌。。。
把伤心的都给忘了吧！


快乐可以是自找的。 。 。 。 。 。

it's a long long journey

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting through empty shores
Wondering how to make me strong
I know you'll be standing by my side
I know I will falter I will cry
It's along long journey
And I need to be close to you
sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
you break down these walls and pull me through
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Coze it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you...to you

发生什么事啊？？?

发生什么事啊？？？

外婆生病了，下星期要动心藏手术。。。
外公的情况还需要特别加护。。。
几天前，我竟然梦见碧慧向我哭诉她的感情事。。。甚至害我差点迟到去上课。。。没想到当我告诉她那个有关她的梦境时，她却向我证实她的感情出现裂痕。。。

碧慧是我从小学就认识的好朋友。。。
我们很要好。。。刚上大学时，我们都说好说谁要是先谈恋爱了，要带男朋友出来给对方介绍。。。
没多久，她跟我说她有男朋友了。。。我也替她感到兴奋。。。
后来，我也谈恋爱了但没多久就失恋了。。。
还记得，第一次失恋，我陷入人生最低落期。。。每一天失眠，天天都打电话给碧慧哭诉好几个小时。。。她一直都很好地聆听我的哭诉，还一直替我抱不平，说要帮我臭骂那个伤我心的男人。。。
我告诉过自己不会再轻易相信男人。。。
一年多后，我却又恋爱了可没多久竟然被我发现他其实还对前女友念念不忘！
我怎么可以接受他的心还留住别的女人的身影？？！
结果，我们分手了一次又一次。。。最后一次，他要我体谅他，还要我等他。。。
一开始，我真的还有点天真。。。在他面前假装装酷，可还是把心里的一个位置留给他，至到有一天，我发现他一早就有了新女友，而且他们在我和他还在一起时已经开始了！
痛了一次又一次，真的让我对男人没有信心了！
这些年来，我的自身遭遇让我对爱情失去了信心。。。
可碧慧不一样。。。我一直都很羡慕她有个这么爱她的男友。。。他们一直都很甜蜜啊！
我一直都很希望他们会有结果，让我相信真爱是存在的。。。
同时，我每次失恋时，都是碧慧一直在旁支持我。。。怕我一个人会胡丝乱想时，她要约会也会带同我出去。。。
那份感激我这辈子都不会忘记！

所以，碧慧啊。。。我知道感情事不是外人可以理解和推测的。。。我或许没有办法帮你找回你的爱情，可是，如果你需要倾诉，我可以做你的听众。。。
你们的爱情需要双方互相珍惜和努力。。。我会祝福你们的。。。
同时，想告诉你。。。我们是朋友，好朋友。。。
当我是朋友的话，有什么事情，尽管找我吧！就好像我以前我一直麻烦你一样~


希望未来的每一天都会是每一个人更好的一天~
**I Wish, in every future days to come,will be a better day for everyone!! *praying*

爷爷

爷爷泡的茶，有一种味道叫做家

陆羽泡的茶，听说名和利都不拿

爷爷泡的茶，有一种味道叫做家

陆羽泡的茶，像幅泼墨的山水画

山泉，在地表蜿蜒，从很久很久以前

我有一张稚气的脸，泉水渗透进矿層巖

爷爷栽种的樟木树苗上面

犹记得那年，在一个雨天

那七岁的我躲在屋檐，却一直想去荡秋千

爷爷抽着烟，说唐朝陆羽写茶经三卷

流传了千年

记得那天，我翻阅字典

查什么字眼，形容一件事很遥远

天边，是否在海角对面

直到九岁才知道浪费时间

这茶桌樟木的横切面，年轮有二十三圈

镜头的另一边，跳接我成熟的脸

经过这些年，爷爷的手茧

泡在水里会有茶色蔓延

爷爷泡的茶，有一种味道叫做家

没法挑剔他口感味觉还不差

陆羽泡的茶，听说名和利都不拿

他牵着一匹瘦马走天涯

爷爷泡的茶，有一种味道叫做家

他满头白发，喝茶时不准说话

陆羽泡的茶，像幅泼墨的山水画

唐朝千年的风沙现在还在刮

周董-《爷爷泡的茶》

我的爷爷泡的茶，也有一种味道叫做家。。。

小时候的日记里有记载下 ：

今天，第一次骑爷爷驾的摩哆，好棒，好刺激噢！

今天，不够车用了，大家都在忙，爷爷只好用罗哩载我回家。。。（我的爷爷是在行家私的）

今天，爷爷带我一起去看大戏，还给了我一块钱买冰淇淋。。。（小时候，爷爷给的RM1已经足够换我一辈子回忆童年的快乐）

今天考试拿满分，爷爷有给我奖励耶~

照相簿里都有贴放着一张张爷爷把我抱在手心里的照片。。。

那些这些都是爷爷疼爱我的证据！

我一天一天地长大；爷爷却一天一天地老去，头发宾白。。。

爷爷老了。。。。。近年前，还患上老人痴呆症。。

那天，爷爷跌倒住院，我回去看他。。。

发现爷爷真的老了。。。

我叫他“爷爷”。。。没多久，他转头问阿姨：“欣怡呢？欣怡没有来吗？”

那时，只感觉很惆怅。。。

爷爷老了。。。他有时甚至认不清我了。。。

我不是医生，没有办法让爷爷快点好起来；只能够在旁给他默默地加油。。。

就好像以前，爷爷为我加油，要我用功读书一样。。。

爷爷，加油！赶快好起来！！让我再泡杯好茶给你喝吧！

my October's jollity

Green Day sang a song named- [Wake me up when September ends]...
Since September had end,i've had rest my memory and i wanna ring the bell, waiting for the spring to begins... ... ..

In this early of October,i did have lots of fun hanging out with jimuiss everyday...and Yeah,i love October!


At 1st of October,i've been for lunch with Phoebe and bf and H.Peng to Italianes in The Gardens...Actually,just few days ago that i found myself have no appetitte to consume any food at all...i even didn't eat anything whole day...BUT,food in Italianes really make my mouth-watered...Besides, we even got a free set for our next visit!Hooray!!! about the issue,hmm// dunno why this is the 2cd time i went to Italianes with free food from the manager...lol ;p So,if u want free food from Italianes,bring me along and try your luck lor...ahha =p


Here's the dessert-for-our-day ....Ta Da Da Dang >>>>>>>>>>
Capuccino Pie

with rich melting chocolate...it's soft ice-cream like and it meltsss! Ta-sty...Tasty Sweet!!


Then at night,i went to Jaya One,wait for Jiayi to finish work then we off to Halo Cafe for some drinks,musiC and of course leng zaisss!ahha =p
i get myself a ginger beer...
but disappointly,it smells like toilet! but anyway,we did enjoy!!

At the 2cd of October,we have our girls day out to Pavillion...We headed to the cinema at first and Phoebe and H.Peng said wanna try out something different...and they suggested that we watch [Senario]...Okay,since it's raya time and to show our support for local movies,we got a deal with that...but then,i felt like cabut lari from the cinema lor...it's so lame stupid laa...to be honest,it's really a stupid stupid STUPID show!waste my rm12 for this kind of stupid movie...sucks laa!but,seriously,not discriminating malay laa...just that it's really stupid maa!okay,i know i should stop saying the word 's-t-u-p-i-d' since it's a mean word! wth wth wth wth~

At night,i said i wanna have steak...i wanna treat myself better after the 'S-t-u-xxx' movie!wth and then,we bumped into a restaurant named RainForest Sports Bar.Since the waitress said it's ladies night and we can get free drinks, and since our clubbing plan cancelled,we get in there for dinner...the food is not bad,but the free drinks....hmm// i dun like it laa...The Long Island tea taste weird with gin tonic...The Magarita ok ok lor,but it's just sour sour sour~ anyway, the lady singer is singing pretty well...her voice is SEXY! and i found that the drinks from the menu are weirdly named...The Shooters names are like [ragging bulls,blowjob in the forest,sex on da beach] Interesting,rite?? lol ;p By the way,just get to know that H.Peng drank last night...ahha =p her face is chubbly red when she finished her Long Island Tea...anyway,H.Peng,you are cute with the red blush on your cheeks! so cute neh *_<

Been suffering from the moisquito bites at the night that cause me cannot sleep well,so i woke up early today...Took bus to Jaya One again,looking for a good breakfast...I went to Tappers for an english breakfast...I get myself seated in a corner,ate my english breakfast,listened to the oldies that played in the air and Yeah,i done my reading for [Who Moved My Cheese] there!It can so fulfilling,so leisure...i luv morning like this!

My Eglish Breakfast: half-boiled eggs,thin slice of beef bacon,mushrooms,sausage,red beans...it tastes "so so desu" but i felt satisfied enough.... ^^

Then,ex-roomie asked me out in the noon but ended up that she put me aeroplane...Nevermind,it won't spoilt my mood either....I get back to my hostel, put on hair mask and facial mask while blogging here and today is still a beautiful day for me...^^

[Who Moved My Cheese]- read it.learn it.live it !!!

[Who Moved My Cheese] told me great stories that is realistic and applicable to apply in our life. and now,i am going to moved with the cheese!!Who's know that there might be HUGE Camembert Hills awaiting me out there??! lol ;p

with that,thanks for reading my this long-winded diaries-like entry...have a nice day,everyone! =)